A Musical Schizophrenia

There’s always one song — a crass, inelegant one. The genre doesn’t matter, the period does. Almost always this will be a song from when you were young. Perhaps in your early college days; a little more than three decades ago. (Needless to say, if you are still in college, or if you are just out; this won’t make sense to you.)

It is your favourite song. Still.

30 years ago, people around you, agreed with you. It was the best, they echoed. 30 years later, you dare not say it loud: I love this song. Most of us mature in our taste of music; some of us do not. It’s not something to apologise for. It is however, something not worth advertising.

*

I may have said this before. I lost my iPod Classic during travel, a few years ago; it’s been a while. Since then, the music experience has never been the same. Music, movies, books, have to be possessed – the cloud does not cut it. Imagine painstakingly tagging over seven thousand songs in your own way, and not being able to access your music in the way that you want to.

Discontinuing the iPod Classic is the worst thing that Apple did. Not that they care, but I will never forgive them for that.

*

I’ve lost my religion. I have to get back to Paul Simon and Simon & Garfunkel. True salvation lies in their words and their strings. For me. I do not know about you.

*

Obstinate are the trammels, but my heart aches when I try to break them.
Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed.
I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee, and that thou art my best friend, but I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that fills my room.
The shroud that covers me is a shroud of dust and death; I hate it, yet hug it in love.
My debts are large, my failures great, my shame secret and heavy; yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted.

~ Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore

*

 

*

My life’s so common it disappears
And sometimes even music
Cannot substitute for tears

 

2 thoughts on “A Musical Schizophrenia

  1. I was always a bit of a snob when it comes to music, so I don’t have too many of the songs that I’d NOT want to advertise that I liked them at some point. Especially the ones that I *loved*. I still love them, mostly, but I know where you’re coming from.

    And the point about possesions. Recently we gave away a majority of our cassettes to a guy who still loves the medium. I felt a pang parting with them, even when I had not heard many of those (or the music on them) for decades. It was like giving away a piece of your youth. I still couldn’t part with mixes created with care and thought. Those I still hang on to. Maybe they’ll become playlists in the cloud one day, I don’t know. But maybe it’s just our generation that has these unique problems. We’ve so much access but it’s hard to possess it all — also the fact that you can have *anything* seems to dilute the act of having *something specific*. I hope I’m making sense.

    Cheers,
    Amit

    Liked by 1 person

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