The most interesting struggle in life is of contradictory expectations. A part of you wishes that things happen like x and a part of you wishes that things happen like y. Necessarily, x being the opposite of y. In the end, it doesn’t matter whether things happen like x or like y. Either way, you are unhappy. Either event doesn’t satisfy you. It’s staging; you’ve staged yourself to be unsatisfied. And for good reason.
There I am.
It may seem un-natural to be in this state, but I find it completely natural. It’s possibly the intermediate state to salvation. Big words; heavy concepts. What we expect is our conditioning, what we don’t expect is the calling of our own self. There continues the struggle of what we have to be and what we are. Not all validations are a source of celebration. Some validations, as useful as they are, are scalding slaps on your face. Funerals. And painful as they are, they are most welcome. They remind you of your place in this world.
I was introduced to maps way back when I was young and in the many years that have passed I have learnt their inherent meaning — maps are not only about distances and the means to get from A to B — but a means to know yourself and where you are. Not all maps are made of the roads, rivers, mountains and valleys — most maps are made of people, life, events, memories, arguments and silent encounters. Those are the maps that help us find our way. We have to learn that maps help us understand more about us, than the place that we are in and where we have to go.
If we know where we want to go.
All’s well, I know where I am.