Remains of the Day: 007

People have often talked about the power of networking. I have yielded to that maxim, often. Like most folks, I went overboard. Over the years, however, I have learned that quality trumps quantity. It applies to networking too (As it does everywhere else). 80-20 is an amazing axiom. Knowing more people is less valuable than knowing a few people who are interested in your life. Even if they are a handful, they will enrich your life in more ways than you can imagine. They do not have to do anything. They enrich it by sheer presence. It works both ways, however – you need to have an interest in their life as well.

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People like the romantic notions of what they do. They amplify these notions. Usually, because what they do is not that romantic as they imagine. Just human. They like to believe that it applies to them. Only because it is romantic. Like an empty envelope of a false promise. It does not mean that they will live by it. A person walks up to you and says – give me a blank canvas and I will create the best art you have ever seen. Give them the blank canvas. It is in your interest to know whether they live by the romantic notion or just a utopian concept that they wish upon – like a shooting star. A wish, a dream, bereft of action. You will get hurt, but the experience (if you will cash it in) is worth all the stars in the universe. Being wiser is a slow process.

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People will use you. Because that is what they think networking is.  Some will have the advantage of common and shared DNA. They will use it to maximum advantage — for themselves. If, at the end of it – you feel lousy, do not curse them – when they walk away from you – as you see their backs, fading away from you, carrying the riches that you think they don’t deserve. Learn to curse yourself first, for the lack of courage that caused this piracy of goodwill.

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People will never forgive you. Your first crime, small as it may be, will be the determinant of what they see you as. You have to learn to forgive yourself rationalise to know what caused that crime. If you are not sure why you live your life the way you live your life – you will always be slave to these unforgiving demons. Your responses will be dependent on their questions. Defensive. Seeking forgiveness. Sometimes, they are not the demons. You are. In a dark place. Orcs. Mindless brutes. Slaves to demand and selfish opportunity.

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People, usually, have no interest in the small pleasure that you derive in life. Mostly. If, what you feel happy about, does not resonate with the notion of their perception of who they think you are, they will not appreciate that joy in your life. They will consider it trivial. Unlike what you have been taught, not all joy can be shared. Because most of them will never understand your small joy. If they have been taught to be nice – they will, at best, patronise you. Then, there will be some who will rejoice more than you. Learn to hold on to those.

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People will say many things. Nice things and ugly things. If you are the person that you imagine you are, it will not bother you, else, you will spend a lifetime toggling between the “he-saids” and the “she-saids.”

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People are important in your life. We know this inherently – and usually for that reason, we take them for granted. Humans have a very strong faculty to know when they have been taken for granted. They may or may not do something about it – but they will always know. Unfortunately, we usually take the most important people in our life for granted. And we create a distance. If you really love them, let them know that you love them – in a way that they want to be told. Tough? None of us were born with promises of easy. Love is so much sweeter when it leaves you than when it enters you. Love.

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People are in abundance in London. I used to be one of them, once. I miss being a part of that.

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