There are many reasons in this world why love (or a marriage, therefore) doesn’t happen. It quite doesn’t matter who says no, but the reasons are always interesting.
1. I am not in love with you (whether I am in love with someone else is incidental)
The simplest, I think, but a bit rare. Half the people don’t quite know what love is, the other half believe something else to be love. The remaining – don’t bother to be truthful.
2. My parents will never agree
Yes, it’s my parents who need to spend the rest of their life with you, I am just a via media, and well, if they don’t quite like you, we shouldn’t get married. In any case, they are done having kids in this lifetime. This, I believe is the ultimate killer. In India at least.
3. Your parents will never agree
Same as above – just change the roles.
4. I never thought of you that way
I love this one! Never ceased to amaze me. It somehow means that you were (or are) a backup plan. This reason is often used in combination with Reason # 5. Reason # 5 is the true backup. Often affects those who have been in a long relationship. High school or college friends. Is one of the painful ones because of the high intimacy that already exists.
5. I have always thought of you as a friend (Usually followed by, We can remain friends can’t we?)
Classic backup case. If Reason # 4 has kicked in without Reason # 5, then it means there is another person in the equation. If Reason # 4 is used with Reason #5, then it means that “I am waiting for someone better to come along, but I’ll have you if that is what I have to settle for.” Victim almost always remains a friend – perpetrator almost always doesn’t.
6. Our horoscopes don’t match
I have never understood this one. It hasn’t been used with me, but I know a few who have been victims of celestial conspiracy. A difficult one to argue against unless you have a friendly depraved astrologer willing to give with a fresh astrological identity. It’s the same as what Jason Bourne and his likes do, they go for new passports and such, you go for a new place and time of birth.
7. I am gay/lesbian
If you get this one, I blame you. Period. You asked for it. If you didn’t see this coming, you need to be banished from love-land. Unless of course you are willing to have a sex-change or whatever that may still work.
8. I am/We should be focusing on my/our career now.
I like this one. See, when they go out on dates and all that, the career can go jump in a lake. It’s almost saying that if they get married or into a more serious/formal relationship, a career won’t happen. I like this one, I really do. Wonder how people get out of this one. Bury themselves in their own career?
9. Because you drink/smoke/gamble/womanize/etc
This is understandable. To an extent. It means that I like parts of you – not you, as such. So if I could just customize you the way I want to – that would be perfect. I like this one, because it gives a fairly clear message and if you are the types you believes in their own life in a way that makes you feel happy about it, it’s as good as being told – I don’t love you. Like Reason # 1, but packaged differently. Reason # 9 is actually Reason # 1 for the not so brave.
The last one is my favorite. It is really rare; I have never figured this one out. It haunts me.
10. You are too good for me.
Is this supposed to make you feel good about yourself or make you feel worse? I have never understood this one. So if I was a bit of an idiot, that would have worked? Or if I promise, not to be as good, will you then love me/marry me? I have never heard of anyone following this Reason with a comment like, “I’ll try and be as good as your are, so that we are equals, sort of.” Perhaps it is supposed to make the perpetrator look good – I leave you for someone else (who is as good). Something like, “You will find someone who will make you happier.” (Often also used as a follow-up on Reason # 5). Right. You obviously have a better idea of what will make me happy. But, the main question remains: Is this supposed to make you feel good about yourself or make you feel worse?
Any favourites I have missed?