A Thirteen Day Schizophrenia

I have a draft post, titled Pride and Prejudice. It will show up here soon, I hope. I cannot tell you what it is about. Because if I could, it would be here already.

A moth inspects my keyboard and decides against it.

I have spent a bit over two weeks back in Mumbai and people in India notice my British mannerisms and nuances and point them out. My British friends say that I have quickly gained back my Mumbai mannerisms and nuances and point them out. I observe both with excitable amusement.

My world is exactly as I left it, yet I fail to recognise it.

What was supposed to be a thinking job has amazingly turned out to be full of action — but then, thinking is an act in itself and in every act is contained a thought. The new maxim, then, is: I think, therefore I act. (Not the stage-or-film-like acting)

I smile when I am supposed to be laughing out loud. LOL doesn’t mean much now.

I think I will do a Ph. D. on “Reputations and Perceptions,” I think I have a body of knowledge that no one can compete with. If I just write the two words a million times each, in no particular order, I should be awarded a doctorate. I wonder, however, who would be qualified to confer that degree on me.

There are no means, nor a method to thank someone for an education. Just let go.

Dreams have found a new respectable position in my life. As conceptual and abstract (or discrete) as they may be, they have a tendency to come true. They do, however, have a mischievous nature, in that, they never reveal themselves blatantly.

To question or rationalise an innocent, open-ended wish is akin to cold-blooded murder.

Friends remain and continue to be a central theme of being. Yet, how they become that and why they remain that, is a permanent mystery. One (of many) true tests of being good friends is to share the misery of the last drink of an evening. The emotionally ignorant often mistake this for pangs of drink; who cannot fathom through their sober blurred vision the context of it all — them I pity.

Across time-zones and geography even, there is time for friends. Yet, in all the time that you have, you have no time.

Bluetooth didn’t work, else, a friend’s photograph was to adorn this post. An otherwise casually clicked photo was loaded with dense social messaging about the world we live in. If he remembers to email that photo, it will show up here, soon. If you are the “Sign a petition” kind of a person, make a request for the photo here.

We wear tinted glasses; friends help clear the coloured fog of our notions and perceptions.

I am against banning the TV. Only because I have two options that the Health Minister of India hasn’t (yet) taken away from me. One, I can choose not to have a TV, and two, if I do own a TV, I can always turn it off. Same goes for the Facebook petition doing the rounds and the amusing “No to videos” on Flickr. (interesting topic for a full-blown post). HT ran an article on consumer rights on free stuff. I just love to see how people get indignant on the most trivial of things.

I suddenly like the world. Even if it is become morbid by the day, it is definitely becoming amusing. Sarcasm’s joy lives a short life, however.

As much as I wish I was born in the early forties, I wasn’t. I was born in the early seventies. Our schooling years, therefore were obviously under Indira Gandhi’s regime. Notwithstanding her ‘bad policies’, for a child growing up in the late seventies and early eighties, it was all about National Integration. I became an Indian in my school. Not at the cost of my regional identity; in fact it helped me place my regional identity in a much much larger context. So, whatever logic you may have about regional identity, I cannot identify with your regressive and divisive politics. Have your day while you have it; you got a national icon on his knees. Once again, that reflects on you, not on the hero; wait till the movie is over.

Anger is a malefic consumer. Unchecked, it has the power to consume the good in you.

You know I am talking to you. All this anger isn’t worth the momentary satisfaction of the love that you are infinitely capable of.

Take care.


8 thoughts on “A Thirteen Day Schizophrenia

  1. ‘ Anger is a malefic consumer. Unchecked, it has the power to consume the good in you.

    You know I am talking to you. All this anger isnโ€™t worth the momentary satisfaction of the love that you are infinitely capable of…..’

    Atul….were you talking to me when you put those lines down? Yes, you were! Thanks.


  2. its always hard to accept the fact that you have a disorder in some occasions people even laugh at u if u tell them that someone told u to jump out of a window cause ive heard some people with disorders hear voises its weird to see or hear these stories


  3. You were my neighbor in the Personal Journal category on EatonWeb, so I figured I’d stop by. Great writing, attention grabbing, despite mine having a pretty short span… which I of course blame on our era’s information overload. The missing picture would be great –

    – the โ€œSign a petitionโ€ kind of a person ๐Ÿ˜‰


  4. ==DR:
    Thank ye! I like writing them too. Kind of allows you to have 13 posts in one! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Welcome to Gaizabonts! I guess, it’s not for us to know why ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Schizophrenic in the dictionary sense of the word – ” breakdown in the relation between thought”. Else, no. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Was I? Well, it seems it makes sense to some people. It is all a matter of interpretation, isn’t it?

    Welcome to Gaizabonts!

    Weird as weird can be! I agree!

    So EatOnWeb really works! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Welcome to Gaizabonts! Thank you, I am trying to get that picture, still.

    Thank you.

    I have written about it. See my post titled “Canโ€™t Think Straight – II” on 31 Aug.


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