Crossroads of Time

One day you come close to it.

Sometime ago, a decision would have taken you along a different road, off the default path. We choose possible futures that way, with decisions. And along this road we would have toiled our way towards the destination — the same one if we had stayed on the path and not taken the diversion.

One day you come close to your destination. You don’t reach it, you come close to it and see what could have been, if you had stayed the original path. The destination is not yours, yet. You see your fellow traveller at the destination, he, who stayed the original path. A whirlpool of questions and regrets envelope you. As the giddiness subsides, you go back to the day you chose the left fork in the road. It seems like a longer walk. It seems, you have to walk much more to get to the same place that you see now.

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How can the same destination be further away from you can see it in front of you?

Am I using time to measure the distance? And if I don’t measure the distance in time, and use miles and kilometres to measure it — have I taken a longer route? And if that is true, how do I still see it here? Why have I not reached it? Why does it elude me?

You know your destination lies further ahead. Perhaps this is just a way of letting you know what lies ahead, when you eventually get there. A bit of providential intervention for your motivation, perhaps. Perhaps, a question for you; a glimpse of what lies ahead — a chance to confirm if your intended destination is the same; if you would like to recalibrate your expectations; your ambitions; your desires.

That envelope of a whirlpool will now be your constant companion. And you will walk away from your destination and walk with more vigour towards it.


15 thoughts on “Crossroads of Time

  1. This is a constant and giant question and effort for me. It haunts me. I’m wondering if it is about acceptance. I forget at times, then remember again that giving over, surrendering, is how I get closer to what I want. But like anything, when I’m in the chase, on the hunt, working and trying and fixating, it alludes me.


  2. What we often assume, when we talk of two roads, is that they are both on the same plane. And by traversing back through the time or distance required, we can change the course or go back on the original path. Alas.. truth is far from it. Once chosen, sometimes, the other path becomes non-existent. Or even a leap of planes does not take you to it. What follows is regret and unsettled feeling.

    And you’ve worded it well as “That envelope of a whirlpool”. That envelope of whirlpool becomes the only constant companion in life.


  3. ==Videoxy:
    That is its nature I guess. And to see it before you, yet to be completely aware that it is not yours is a wondrous feeling, almost.

    V. V. interesting reply. I’ll admit, I never thought of i in a three-dimensional sort of way. I wonder, however, if trodden paths become non-existent. Perhaps the planes are revolving, moving, and such – that being the reason why we may not always get to the path that we walked on before.

    Wonderful, thank ye!

    ==Dharma (and Citric):
    I tend to not like this concept of inanimate things making intellectual choices for us. How can a road choose you?

    I believe we make choices, in our favour, usually, depending on situation, no?


  4. folks, i’m all joy in reading some thoughts here. awesome i say!


    very objectively, and succinctly put, my dear friend. *bows*

    just one word that struck me, i picked it up –

    i don’t believe there is anything inanimate. the animacy – or whatever the word, i seem to be unware of it – is based on perception. and that can be subjective. what do you think?

    i’l try our own language, always easier. they call it ‘jada vastu’ – and is defined as those from which we don’t perceive sentience. in english it is either thinking or feeling. 🙂

    citric acid,

    i second gaiza. very interesting thought. sounds matrix-like to me, so i say, cooool! 🙂


  5. coming to think of it, is our ‘way of thinking / feeling / perceving’ restricted by the language(s?) we think / feel perceive in?

    tangent. sorry 🙂


  6. Life is no big adventure or nothing at all.. is one way of looking at it..n yes, it sure leaves you with a giddy feeling, a whirlpool of emotions for a constant companion and destiny, a powerful guiding force.


  7. Gaiza and Dharma..
    True. We choose the path. Consciously and deliberately. Sometimes, I’ve felt that the other constraints narrows down your options and you have no choice but one straight path that forks out and you take one because the other one is closed at the moment of decision. Anyways, digressing too much.

    Yeah. the whole thing is matrix like. 🙂


  8. the forks were always there. waiting for us to approach them. wait upon them with a frown. and through the complex mechanisms of free will, cloudy judgement and priorities decide to walk one – as against the other.

    and yet it is an option. the first few minutes into the walk are bold. the next few turn furtive and suspicious of the self. especially, things are not quite what we expected. and it happens to the best of us. and we forget, what compulsions, what logical deductions and often simplistic mathematics made us choose the road in the first place.

    i have never gone back. more out of losing out on the curiousity of what next, than losing time.

    hope i made sense.


  9. ==Dharma, Citric, and AquaM:
    An awesome experience reading the responses! Thank ye!

    Dharma, to answer both your comments together, I think the question of animacy of something is extremely subjective, in fact. If we perceive from a stone, then we perceive from a stone — something like the Zen practitioner staring at a Zen garden. If meaning is to be derived and perception is to be felt, it can happen from any quarter. Most eastern philosophies speak of everything in this world having energy and being able to interact with other sources of energy. In some form, always a transaction. It is not so much about the language, as much as the confusion of the fusion of two philosophies.

    My personal beliefs about inanimate objects making intellectual choices for us are non-existant to say the least. In fact, it may be very easy to say that a sign board which says, “turn left” is an “animate” object which is making a choice for us. I would look at it as an inanimate object that has received some “intellect” through an “animate” and “intelligent” object; i.e. a human (who designed the sign board).

    What Citric is saying is also very relevant – and I believe that is very easily (mis) construed as divine intervention or ‘powers that we don’t understand’ — spiritual and philosophical obscurism — as I call it. The road choosing us, is simply a place where you are with “limited or no choice”, which, in itself is a huge build-up we generate – to justify our choice.

    Think of the last time you ever felt you didn’t have choice. It is just a case of a not making a difficult choice — difficult because our way of life as we know it would have been drastically affected. That is why I say we make choices in our favour. Which, now, so wonderfully brings us to AquaM’s thought (and hey, welcome back, been a long long while!) that life is no adventure. I agree with that thought because, unless we take the “difficult” choices, it can never become an adventure. If we don’t see beyond the “default” it will almost be purposeless. Perhaps that’s where the giddy feeling becomes a constant companion — maybe the feeling is of all that could have been.

    Somewhere down the line, we see the impact of our choice and at times, regret overtakes us – and then we fashionably state how we are above being regretful. Very Matrix-like for sure, your mind makes it real!

    (Can’t get any digressive and tangential than this! Thank you all, once again, for a stimulating conversation.)


  10. ==Phish:
    You make sense alright, and you are on the right track this time!
    Curiosity is a good reason to stay on the path. That’s when life starts becoming a small adventure if not a big one as AquaM says. And I’d like to be in the situation where I could forget the character of the decision that got me here, that would be nice. More often, it stands there bare and naked, staring hard with dark circles under red, swollen eyes.

    The ghost of the difficult choice that was my victim.


  11. Pingback: Crossroads of Time - II « Gaizabonts
  12. You have a great mind man! It made me think of those roads that I have taken and rethink of those mistakes and even have a glimsed of what actually lies ahead of me. My decisions could not be changed. But I could use those mistakes as a weapon not fail again the next problem along the road.


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