It’s like water – colourless.
It has no essence of its own, yet it assumes a massive identity in the instant it comes into existence. This identity is reflective even, reflecting off the outcome that follows the decision – reluctantly living off the apparent glory of the repercussions of a decision.
The point where we are at the gateway of the decisive point is the one where we spend most time.
Not because the doors won’t open easily or because we are busy searching for the key to open the door – the inexpressible dread of seeing what lays beyond keeps us expectantly occupied at the gateway.
The outcomes eventually reveal themselves in kaleidoscopic colours. Often harsh colours – so strong that they reflect hard on the decision itself and presumably give the water-like decision a borrowed hue. We then think of decisions in black and white, pink and yellow, or a psychedelic combination that allows us to recognise the decision more than the outcome. A decision becomes a good decision or bad.
Is there ever a bad decision, or a good one for that matter? What tools do we, if at all, employ when we are at that daunting gateway – waiting to push open the door? Intellect? Reasoning? Statistics? Emotion? A combination of these? Do these give a colour to the decision? Why is the decision coloured when what we are judging is really the outcome? Isn’t it just that an outcome is either undesirable or acceptable?
How can a decision get a colour or quality at all? To build on a thought by Milan Kundera in The Unbearable Lightness of Being, if we live that single moment of decisiveness uniquely and just once, how are we ever to know the goodness of it? It is not relative – we have no basis to compare with a historical event, neither do we have a future event to better the decision.
We could reverse a decision, as we often do, yet that isn’t true either. An oxymoron at best. We can only open doors to a one way street. It is another gateway that we stand at and it is a new decision altogether. The context of the gateway is now very different. It is only another decision in its colourless state waiting to be victimised by the colour of the new outcome.
Our eyes aren’t trained to see colourlessness.