Being Judgemental

It may be offensive to “pronounce” a personal judgement. If we do not verbally pronounce judgement – does that make it right?

Is it wrong to be judgemental? Is my expression more hurtful or my silence?

For the sake of accepting a social norm of ‘not’ being judgemental, I keep my silence. I announce the verdict in my court, pass the sentence, and rest my case.

I even announce myself guilty of being judgemental. That is one sentence that is a partner in crime – for every sentence that is passed in my court.

Being pounded through films, never-ending television series, propaganda and of course our good old newspapers that are still around in print about the virtues of being non-judgemental, I automatically sentence myself guilty with every sentence that I pass. I live by a code that is foreign to me.

What would we be if we don’t judge? Would we still retain the ability to evaluate things in life – which we often need to – in order to live a relatively happy life? In the mundane evaluation of a stereo system to the serious one of choosing a life partner. Isn’t evaluation a process that results in some form of a judgement?

How were we nice before the term politically correct came about?

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18 thoughts on “Being Judgemental

  1. i was pondering all day long yesterday on yet another one of your profound questions…

    i think it is wrong (or lets say, it justs ends up causing trouble for all involved) to be judgemental, as applied to people. we often tend to judge people against our paradigm of right and wrong and thus tend to be inherently biased. this in turn leads to the question of acceptance, which i have always felt is the basic problem in all the world.

    eveluating ‘things’ in life – in your own words, is quite necessary though, so as to take what might be the best suited course of action for each of us.

    thank you!

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  2. ==Dharma:
    When someone doesn’t verbally pass judgement – it doesn’t mean that they aren’t doing it. I think you got it right when you talk of the question of acceptance – if we don’t judge (with all our biases) – we don’t get to adjust/refine/improve our paradigm of right or wrong. All it requires is for the person opposite to say – well – here is another perspective, care to change your opinion (judgement)? Instead, saying ‘how dare you judge me/who are you to judge’ is a signal for you to take the highway.

    and you are most welcome 🙂

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  3. Isn’t evaluation a process that results in some form of a judgement?

    You got it! Every step in our lives requires us to constantly evaluate the given, the past, the present, the future, the known, and the unknown. Everything within and everything without comes under the scrutiny of an evaluating mind.

    I find it ridiculous when people say, “don’t be judgemental”. It’s like saying, “don’t think”!!!

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  4. ==Explorer:
    A good friend once told me it is the pronouncement of judgement that matters – being judgemental – by itself doesn’t mean anything. while differ, I guess that’s what folks mean – when they ask – “don’t be judgemental”

    I didn’t say anything back to him. 😉

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  5. 🙂

    In the social context, it may make sense to keep mum than pronounce it! But it’s not entirely inappropriate to pronounce an already formed judgment either. Pronouncing means sharing. Sharing data, be it factual or opinionated, has helped us evolve over the years. So I don’t see anything wrong with it.

    Of course, part of the reason why people ask others not to be judgmental is because they assume that by their not judging someone, they will be spared from being judged! 🙂

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  8. Yes, the word “judgemental” isn’t really the best choice because it implies that we should be devoid of opinion. I think the important thing is just to understand that everyone sees things differently, and not to automatically assume that we are right and that they are wrong. But clearly we still have our opinions, and at times it is very important to state these opinions.

    This article goes into more depth about the fine line between staying non-judgemental and stating our opinions:

    http://spiritualinquiry.com/articles/should-we-be-non-judgemental/

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  9. ==CJ:
    Welcome to Gaizabonts!

    Thank you for the link. Does make interesting reading. It is perhaps slightly more than just the choice of word. Contemporary social standards insist on being silent, leave alone making a forceful statement, even if it is objective.

    But, I do agree with you! 🙂

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  10. We didn’t know how to be phoney. Political correctness is for the ones who need to hide. It is an art to convey a message without being rude or hurtful. Some where we have lost that art. Some time it became acceptable to stop caring. Which does not mean we aren’t judgemental beings. We are. How else would we evolve?

    I know I have written posts on the same lines. I am just surprised that I seem to have missed this one.

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  12. Hi Atul!
    I have this link open on my browser for over a month. I don’t even remember why.
    Anyway, here are my thoughts 🙂
    When you ask someone not to be judgmental are you kind of asking: please agree with me?
    And judging something or someone, is it just giving an opinion? I think that judging is seen as negative in a way. Like “who do you think you are to judge?”, while giving an opinion sounds more modest (even if you are saying the exact same thing).
    I think we are free to judge but I’m totally against of not respecting the other. Does that make sense?

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    • I am not asking anyone not to be judgemental. On the contrary, I am saying, we can’t “help” it. when you do bring in the respect element, I guess it becomes complicated. A judgement has enough in it to cause disrespect. The act is in understanding, if at all, so that we don’t see things in pure shades of black or white (everyone definition of B&W being different). The key is in understanding – because if we judge in isolation; without context, we are doing a disservice – especially to our sense of judgement.

      Your browser must be tired! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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